If life was just a song, I would sing for You...!

I just finished rereading the last few chapters of Just Listen, by Sarah Dessen. I'm not sure what compelled me to read them, but it was really just what I needed.

If you haven't read this novel I seriously recommend it, it's one of those books that scar you with messages and has characters that are so realistic you can almost hear their heartbeat.

I cried the first time I read that book and I just cried again. I don't know what makes me so weak when it comes to literature, but I get so lost in the theme and plot that it becomes a living nightmare. Everything gets so painfully real.

I don't really know who I am and that's why I read; to find myself. And the truth is, every page I have ever read holds a little piece of me, just as I hold a little piece of it.

I want to give life to someone the way the authors I love have given life to me. I want to be able to make someone cry and laugh and think. I want it so bad I can taste and it tastes so ripe and so sweet and a little premature all at the same time.

Have you ever closed your eyes and imagined where you will be in 10 years? Everyone asks me that. Where do you want to be in 10 years? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What's life going to be like for you in 10 years? I'm sick of that question, because I don't picture myself in 5, 10 or 20 years. I don't want to focus on my future - I want to focus on how to get there.

We talked about hope in DeGiovanni's class last year, he said it was "the real killer," that if all we ever do is hope we won't ever do anything about it. I was so angry at him, I was mad that he wouldn't - couldn't - see why hope drives us, not dispossesses us. Except, when that question is asked, and I say "in ten years I will be graduated from college with a degree in creative writing, starting my own bookstore and finnishing up my first novel," I realize that hoping for this isn't going to make it happen.

So from here on out I will strive to be someone in the here and now, instead of hoping someday I will become something. Thanks for listening…

Peace, Love, and ME!