Haikus...

Days at the Beach
Salt is in the air.
Some seagulls steal a sandwich.
Waves crash on my heart.
-Chantelle A.G.


Facebook Chatbox
I’m waiting for you
Why are you not online?
I’ll wait one more hour.
-Chantelle A.G.


You Suck
You can’t say those words.
Never were a proper friend.
I hurt more then you.
-Chantelle A.G.


Not About Me
It was just one drink.
One death stopped two lives that night.
Don’t even know you.
-Chantelle A.G.


Mirrorless
One winged butterfly.
A quilt without a pattern.
Flying in circles.
-Chantelle A.G.


English Major
The English language.
It doesn't always look sense.
Harder than it looks.
-Chantelle A.G.


BFF
Friends are always there.
Lying makes me feel better.
Friends are never there.
-Chantelle A.G.


Cutting it Down
Blood covers their hands.
Love never was the problem.
The tree won’t grow back.
-Chantelle A.G.


Shake Your Tail Feathers
I wanted to dance.
The radio went silent.
Listened to the birds.
-Chantelle A.G.

If life was just a song, I would sing for You...!

I just finished rereading the last few chapters of Just Listen, by Sarah Dessen. I'm not sure what compelled me to read them, but it was really just what I needed.

If you haven't read this novel I seriously recommend it, it's one of those books that scar you with messages and has characters that are so realistic you can almost hear their heartbeat.

I cried the first time I read that book and I just cried again. I don't know what makes me so weak when it comes to literature, but I get so lost in the theme and plot that it becomes a living nightmare. Everything gets so painfully real.

I don't really know who I am and that's why I read; to find myself. And the truth is, every page I have ever read holds a little piece of me, just as I hold a little piece of it.

I want to give life to someone the way the authors I love have given life to me. I want to be able to make someone cry and laugh and think. I want it so bad I can taste and it tastes so ripe and so sweet and a little premature all at the same time.

Have you ever closed your eyes and imagined where you will be in 10 years? Everyone asks me that. Where do you want to be in 10 years? Where do you see yourself in 10 years? What's life going to be like for you in 10 years? I'm sick of that question, because I don't picture myself in 5, 10 or 20 years. I don't want to focus on my future - I want to focus on how to get there.

We talked about hope in DeGiovanni's class last year, he said it was "the real killer," that if all we ever do is hope we won't ever do anything about it. I was so angry at him, I was mad that he wouldn't - couldn't - see why hope drives us, not dispossesses us. Except, when that question is asked, and I say "in ten years I will be graduated from college with a degree in creative writing, starting my own bookstore and finnishing up my first novel," I realize that hoping for this isn't going to make it happen.

So from here on out I will strive to be someone in the here and now, instead of hoping someday I will become something. Thanks for listening…

Peace, Love, and ME!

It's okay. We all die eventually.

And for your entertainment today, we have a lovely song for our readers...

Melt My Heart To Stone - Adele

Right under my feet is air made of bricks
That pulls me down turns me weak for you
I find myself repeating like a broken tune
And I’m forever excusing your intentions
And I give in to my pretendings
Which forgive you each time
Without me knowing
They melt my heart to stone

And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love

Each and every time I turn around to leave
I feel my heart begin to burst and bleed
So desperately I try to link it with my head
But instead I fall back to my knees
As you tear your way right through me
I forgive you once again
Without me knowing
You’ve burnt my heart to stone

And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love

Why do you steal my hand
Whenever I’m standing my own ground
You build me up, then leave me dead

Well I hear your words you made up
I say your name like there should be an us
I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love.


Story of my life. Right there folks, in lyrical form.


So I know most people don't - and by that I mean no one - read this blog of mine. They're more interested in what I post on my other blogs. And truth told that's the way I like it. I only post boring-one-step-two-step things on this particular spot and then obviously some poetry. I give people the link randomly, but mostly use my google blogger account to track other peoples blogs. Authors in particular. Weird that I'm saying all this when no one will actually read it.

Whatever. It's 3 in the morning. I'm going to bed.
Peace, Love and ME!

This is our Ungodly hour.

Some of my [favorite] poems. In order of newest to oldest. Starting with my latest...


[Untitled at this point]

Sun shines through my lace laden eyes.
I don’t know which to focus on anymore;
The white of it all or
The sin of it.

Pianos play somewhere in the back of my mind.
A memory too pretty to forget.
The repetition of each lyric insignificant to the melody,
Like the beholder to his beautiful one.

Stories become absolute.
Birds continue to flock together, but
The spider breaks her web,
And together we fall apart.

A piano plays somewhere in the back of my mind –
I let the memory fade anyway.
-Chantelle A.G.


Lonely

Lonely girl,
Crying in the night.
Her body rigid and cold,
Full of forgotten desires
All transgressed and transpired.
Shadows etch toward her.
Colder and paler still; her body frays
As the Ghosts come closer.
Are they coming to retrieve or to revive?
She doesn’t know and cannot decide.
Even in death she is unsatisfied.
-Chantelle A.G.


Bruised

Under the bruised night sky,
So black and blue,
I bleed from the wounds your words have left in me.
I find it queer how magnificent you look
In the moonlight.
Purity makes even the blackest of souls beautiful again.
Would it be a lie to say that I still love you?
Desire burns from my head to my toes.
Looking to the stars I plead:
Make this pain go away.
And once again your words are in my head;
Pathetic, you say, weak.
Blood trickles from my eye,
Salty and warm as I literally cry my heart out.
My breath comes shaky and shallow;
A perfect synonym to these motives.
At last I wonder who will find the body?
Under the bruised night sky
So black and blue
I bleed from the wounds your words have left me.
­-Chantelle A.G.


No one

In world with no one
You cannot hate,
Yet never be loved.
You’ll never get angry,
Or ever get a hug.
You’ll never fail,
Yet never succeed;
You’re always trapped,
And always set free.
Because in world with no one:
There’s no one at all
Not even you and me.
-Chantelle A. G.


Background Noise

Everything keeps making noise.
It won’t stop.
It screams.
It yells.
It taunts.

Coming from behind:
It grabs and wraps me in its sound,
Echoing and blasting all around;
It slowly takes and breaks me.

It won’t stop.
It screams.
It yells.
It taunts.
Everything keeps making noise.

I try to catch it; to adjust the sound,
But I can’t reach the volume!

It screams.
It yells.
It taunts.
It won’t stop.
Everything behind me explodes with sound.

I try and try to turn it down,
But I can’t reach the past
I can’t reach that blast
Of noise,
That comes from behind.

Everything keeps making noise.
Everything keeps making noise.
-Chantelle A.G.

Oh my. My. My list.

Someday…

• People will be able to find pieces of my work in the Norton Reader.
• I’ll no longer be sick.
• Expressing what I am really thinking will be much easier.
• My dad will be one of my closest friends.
• I’ll love myself.
• I won’t need to make people laugh to feel accepted.
• My smiles will reach my eyes again.
• I’ll stop obsessing about that nameless face that ruined my life.
• Four letter words will have meaning.
• I’ll tell you how much you hurt me.
• People will realize I’m not dramatic…I’m realistic.
• I’ll tell Train how much their lyrics keep me going.
• He’ll take back those words.
• I’ll be cool.
• I won’t continue to feel guilty.
• I’ll no longer fear being broken.
• I’ll let go of the past; both the good and the bad things.
• Art will come more naturally to me.
• The pain will go away.
• They’ll understand how much they screwed me up.
• I’ll behold myself.
• You’ll want me back.
• This list won’t matter.